After a lovely bit of time off over Christmas & New Year, I'm back blogging, writing, meeting, organising etc. I have a to-do list as long as a toilet roll and there's no excitement to accompany it. Where's it gone?
The excitement is being overshadowed by realisation. That project that I planned last year, applied for funding for is a real thing. It IS happening. THIS YEAR!!! I've GOT to deliver. Shit! What have I done? Can I do this? Nerves are setting in. I try to calm the nerves down by remembering I'll be working alongside Dan, Michael & Fiona, then I have to have a lie down. Oh God!
During my break, I have somehow managed to relax myself into fear. I try to reset and think about why I decided to do this in the first place, then the butterflies flutter, followed by nausea. Whilst in the midst of fear my phone pings. Great, a distraction from my thoughts. I looked at it. It's a notification telling me someone has applied to be a part of The VIP Project. A real person, with a real passion for music, who really wants to be a part of this. This isn't about me at all, it's about making a real difference, to real people. My fear is irrelevant. I need to deliver this for the participants. A healthy dose of pressure.
As for the fear, the only cure for it is throwing myself back in! Here goes...